Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
