Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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