Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
