people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
