so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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