I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
