You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
