Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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