I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
