Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
zippers are such a cool invention
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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