If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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