Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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