Christians are straight up FREAKS
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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