Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
being pregnant is like rehab
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
