So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize