I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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