You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
