he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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