I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
