Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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