She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Randomize
