I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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