I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Operation Purity has been aborted
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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