dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
