is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
