Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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