i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
