Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
