He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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