dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
