I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
