I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
organizing the empties. That sober.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
