i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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