This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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