so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
