He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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