margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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