I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
