Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
She's not a foreskin expert like you
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
