thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
