she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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