halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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