if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
My vagina is very pro this idea
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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