so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
