this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
