you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
