Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
