just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
