Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
