Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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