she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
