OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
