Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
