after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
