She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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