can we get nightvision for the apartment?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
