Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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