Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
