If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
