you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
