Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
