He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Then you guys just all showered together...?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
