Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
